Retirement

It's been a good long time since I've posted a new blog entry; to be honest, I'm not sure what prompted it. I guess my mind is just running and it's good to be able to get my thoughts out. First, as the title suggests I am retired, and it is everything I had hoped for and more. My family and I are happily back in Michigan and we have a beautiful house. I have been dealing with the VA and despite expected difficulties it has been going quite well. I received a new knee brace today and it is fantastic. I have reached the limit of surgical intervention, at least until I am 50 and am old enough for a replacement. Until then, I will get injections every 3 months and continue to wear my brace whenever I need to be on my feet for more than a few moments at a time.

Short but sweet, I guess that's enough for today, or at least for now. I'll post more when my brain starts to spin again. Until then...

Captain's Blog, Supplimental: Stardate 20120815.2137

I'm not going to pretend it hasn't been a considerable time since I last posted here, but since I can't make up for it I'm not going to dwell on it. Instead, you all get to be witness to what a basically random thoughts in my head. Somewhere in all this rambling a pattern or psychology may begin to emerge, maybe, and if not, well at the least, it should be entertaining.

So since the last posting here Facebook has come into it's own, I get the feeling I'll be able to share this there somehow. Things have drastically changed in those many years. 3 right knee surgeries, another child, several changes in assignment, a housing move, even a few cars. But what does all that boil down to? In the end life continues, yes? So what of it then? This is something of an existential several of the voices (relax they're all versions of me) in my head have been having with each other. I'd wait and report on what they come up with, but they seem to be stuck, and I'm a bit impatient besides. I'm not exactly in the middle of a why are we here conversation, I find those a bit dull and played out. No, what I'm chewing over is, how do I define myself, or perhaps, more broadly spoken, how do we define ourselves. Over the years the Army has told me I need to get my priorities right, what they are really saying is I need to conform to their mindless programming; sorry, not going to happen. When presented with this statement, however, I usually reply thusly: I am a Christian first, a father second, a husband third, and a soldier fourth. Let me tell you, the Army does not enjoy or appreciate that priority listing. Never exactly cost me much sleep. Now certainly, my definition could be used to define me. Any of those "titles" would suitably define me, and there is nothing wrong with any of those titles, however, I find myself searching for something more. If I had a dollar for every time I was called a smart person I'd likely never have to work again. But to what end? I cannot help but feel that if I apply myself towards some venture that I could be quite successful. The difficulty is I cannot seem to focus myself into any one direction; one of the reasons college never appealed to me. The idea of focusing all my energies on one topic just hasn't ever appealed to me. It feels like I'd be limiting myself in some way or forcing myself into a preconceived standard or image. Yet, high school has been quite some years and I haven't even attempted one direction, much less more than one. So perhaps you understand the existential debate. What I feel I want (because I flip flop on this back and forth so quickly I can hardly keep up) is to leave something behind or change some industry in a way that only I can do; and not in a conceded way, I hardly care if I get any recognition knowing that I accomplished whatever it is I accomplish would be satisfaction enough.

So join my debate. What would you do in my place. Please explain how you have come to the advice or opinion that you choose to leave. I have no problem accepting constructive criticism but I like to know the rationale behind it so that I may form an educated opinion of my own.

History will repeat itself

If it is true that History does repeat itself, then we have much to learn. War and how war is fought has changed. It is time for America to change its thinking about war as well. On December 7, 1941 the situation was clear: Japan had declared war on the United States of America. In our history no one single event has so unified the American people. Over one thousand people lost their lives in a sudden and violent attack at Pearl Harbor. We were at war. Specifically, we were at war with Japan, all of it. Japan had declared war on the US; not in a public declaration from their government but by a violent and sudden strike from their naval and air forces. War with a country was obvious.

September 11, 2001 the situation was changed. Our country was again attacked. This time, as before, there was no declaration of war by a country against the United States. This time, however, the situation was different. The attack was not by the Afghan people, who we went to war with; or from the Iraqi people, who we went to war with in 2003. No, this attack came from a group of Islamic radicals; a specific group of people who called Afghanistan and Iraq home. The people of those countries did not declare war on the US and neither did their countries. While it may be true that these countries did not consider themselves allies with the US they were not our enemy; people from these counties were.

Our response, tragically, was similar to every conflict prior: attack the country, that would solve the problem. Friends, nearly 10 years have passed since that tragic and terrible attack on the Twin Towers that cost thousands of American lives. This time, it was a civilian target. Our military was not targeted, our very heart was. And while a swift and calculated response was called for, we, like an old relic from a time that has past, retaliated in a manor not consistent with the conflict we were in.

When will America learn? The world has shown us that nuclear war is obsolete, and yet we have more nuclear arms than any other country in the world. The world has also shown us that naval wars are obsolete, yet we have one of the most technologically advanced Navy in the world. The world has shown us that wars no longer have clear defined front lines as they did during WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. Yet we continue to fight as though we have a front line and resources that support it. The world has shown us that war has changed, yet we continue to wage war in the ways of days past. Until we learn that war has changed and adapt to the way war is being fought we will continue to face loss.

Operation Iraqi Freedom may be over, but make no mistake, we have not won. Moreover, we have not changed the situation in which our nation finds itself. We will continue to be threatened by radical groups who now have power independent of the country which they call home. Until we can change our view of who we are war at we will continue to be threatened. Our boarders will become weak and we will continue to send our forces to fight wars they cannot win. Our country will divide and we will war with ourselves. This day is coming, mark my words. We cannot continue to be a dinosaur in this modern age. It is time to change how we fight and who we fight.

Recovery update

Quick update on Lauren. She's been discharged. They never figured out what she had or what was wrong but her numbers got better so they let her go. They're likely going to take her to another hospital to get a second opinion.

I had another follow up with my physical therapist today and the brace came off. I'm now allowed to walk with the cane only as needed. I can bend my right knee to just over 120* and the average person has a range of motion of 130*, my left knee goes way past that but it's mostly because of how thin I am, most people have things like muscle that gets in the way, I don't have that problem lol. I still can't do PT with my unit, darn, but I'm progressing nicely. Most of my range of motion problems now are just due to some left over swelling. My physical therapist says that will go away now that I can use it unrestricted. I'll keep you all posted as I continue to recover. It's going well though.

A prayer request

One of Diana's good friends, Lauren has been in the hospital since yesterday. She's currently in the ICU and probably will be for a while. She went in with a UTI, a kidney infection, and influenza type A. They are pretty sure the influenza is going to turn out to be H1N1 so they've started treating for it. Her platelet count is also very low and there is a problem with her white and red blood cells. She's stable right now and Diana is with her but she doesn't stay that way. At this point all they can do is try to keep her comfortable while they wait for test results. I visited this evening and asked her nurse what she thought it was, she was very honest and said she had no idea. There are already a lot of people praying for her, and she's being very strong considering where she is, but more prayer never hurt anything.

Her kids are staying with Diana and I for now. She and her husband were supposed to move out of their apartment tomorrow and he's begun working on that. His unit is going to help him move everything tomorrow, so we're watching the kids so he can take care of that.

I'll post updates as we know more, but there hasn't been much news since yesterday. We just ask for prayer, not knowing is the hardest part but even if we did there isn't anything we could do, it's all in God's hands and we need to ask him to guide her and her family though this.

October update?

Maybe I can do this once a month, that shouldn't be too hard. No big updates, just more life as usual. Another neighbor got arrested today. I know, not life as usual maybe for most of you, but in my neighborhood that's par for the course. I'd give more details but they play out like a day time soap opera and who actually watches those things.

Work is going well, I drove a HET today for the first time since my surgery. My new squad leader plans on having the squad goto Alamagordo at least once a week, mostly just to get away from the day-in day-out activities of the motor pool but it also serves to get some of the new members their required miles for their licenses so it's dual purpose. I drove one way today. I want to get "back on the horse" so to speak but I'm certainly not trying to over do it. Especially since driving these things is what injured my knee in the first place.

I've begun researching what I need to do to go CID (criminal investigative division). It turns out I won't be a special agent if I get accepted, but it will be a better career path for me than just truck driver. I need 30 credit hours as a part of the requirement but what little research I've done so far tells me that my military training alone will count for about 20 of those hours so it shouldn't be too hard to pick up another 10. My goal will be to get a criminal justice degree and end up in the crime scene investigation department at CID. I would be similar to the people on CSI then, to give a reference to a TV show. The process isn't an overnight thing but the sooner I can get the ball rolling the sooner I can get in.

Not too much more to say. Like I said, mostly just life as usual here. School and CID are my two short term goals that I'm working on. I've been off Facebook for a while and I'm going to try to keep up to date with that more than just every so often.

Bored

No real news, I just feel like chatting. I have been thinking about going to college. I've been researching how many credits my military training coverts to. I'm leaning towards a criminal justice degree but still need to talk to a few counselors, one with the college to find out what I need to do to enrol, and one with the Army to learn how much tuition assistance I'll get or if I'll need to use my GI bill.

If I get my degree I have a few options for the future. I'd really like to get a law enforcement job back in MI, local, county, state, whatever, just something that brings me back to the state. If I can't get a law enforcement job I can drop a packet for CID (criminal investigative department). It would be a huge promotion, my rank would become that of a warrant officer, but I'd be addressed as a special agent, kinda like the show NCIS except that's Navy and TV. It would likely mean staying in the Army longer, but I have to accept the reality of the job market in Michigan right now. It's really hard to be this far away, but it's a nessisary sacrifice to provide right now.

My recovery is still going well. I can walk quite well without the crutches although I'm not sure I'm supposed to yet. I missed my 6 week appointment 'cuz I lost track of what day it was. Hopefully when I get it rescheduled I'll be allowed to walk without crutches, especially since I broke one of them already. Physical therapy has been a little unpleasant but it's just muscle rebuilding, any muscle strengthening has a degree of pain and rebuilding an attrophied muscle doesn't seem to be an exception.

Anyway, like I said, no real news, just felt like chatting. Can't wait to visit Michigan again. Hopefully before the end of the year, but I don't know when yet.

Update 9-16-09

I meant to post this last night but I got too tired and fell asleep. Things have been progressing nicely with my physical therapy and Friday I was given the OK to drive again. The car needed a little work and I took care of that Saturday with a friend at a Self-serve shop here on post. Since then I've been driving myself to wherever I need to be.

Friday's physical therapy appointment not only allowed me to drive but it marked the 4 week mark since the surgery and meant that the physical therapy can be taken to the next stage. It's basically more muscle strengthening, which is what I've been working on this whole time, but now we're using weights and a bike to regain the rest of my range of motion. Yesterday was my first visit with the new regiment and I felt it right away. It never really hurts but the joint feels very stiff from not being used much, so working the range of motion often feels like a good workout by itself. If that wasn't enough we're still working on rebuilding my quadricep in my right leg. Part of the rebuilding has involved using electrical stimulation to force the muscle to contract. The muscle is still so weak that the machine can barely force it to contract. I can do it on my own, but not to the same amount I can do the left one. So basically, Tuesday's session left me quite sore.

During my pre-surgical consult a female captain, who was my surgeon's assistant, asked me to research a condition she felt I might have. I'd been asked a similar question while in Iraq and I didn't have it. Basically my joints are so loose, even though there isn't anything wrong, that it makes them wonder. The condition I was asked to research this last time was Ehler-Danlos Syndrome, it's a syndrome that effects the bodies collagen, which controls how the connective tissue in the body develops. It's not life threatening, in most cases, and there is no treatment, but as I began to read through the list of symptoms I found that many of them fit. Things like my flexibility, the way I scar, and a good many other things fit. The type I have is non-life threatening, if I indeed have it, but it means that I need to be more careful to situations that will lead to injuries like my right knee.

Yesterday was also my first day back to work and I'm getting used to waking up at 0400 again. I didn't do anything yesterday because the whole day was consumed by doctors appointments, but it felt good to get back into what I've gotten used to as a normal routine. I'm on restrictive duty, or as we call it, a profile. The profile determines what I'm allowed to do and for how long, things like running, walking, lifting, etc. When they are ALL checked NO we refer to it as a "dead man's profile". Along with the "dead man's" I've been given a soft shoe profile which means I wear tennis shoes instead of boots with my uniform. Additionally I'm not allowed to stand for periods of time longer than 10 minutes, I have to continue wearing my brace, and I have to walk with the crutches for at least another two weeks. Every two weeks my progress is re-evaluated and I imagine my profile will be updated along the way to reflect my progression. Right now this one has been written to cover the next 30 days to be safe.

So basically things are moving along just as they are supposed to. I'm one month into a six month recovery and it's going well. There is still no way to know if I'll ever run again but we're all OK with that as long as I can return to full duty.

As for right now, I think I'm going to take a nap. I still have to go in for PT in the mornings to show my face for accountability but I'm released to go home after the first formation. That leaves me with about two hours to kill before I need to return for work call. I'm interested to see what they find for me to do, if anything, and I'll try to keep this updated more frequently so everyone can follow along with my progress.

Until next time;

God Bless and take care,

SPC. Pahman, Jesse C.

United States Army

Ft. Bliss, TX

Physical Therapy

I've been able to walk around a bit during the day, even without the crutches. I'm also down to about 2-4 Percocet a day, a huge improvement over how I was when I first came home. I decided that if I felt good enough to be up and about that I should really get on my physical therapy.

I found the sheet of paper my physical therapist sent home with me last week and began to look at the instructions. It turns out I should be doing a bit more than I've been letting myself. I no longer have to keep my knee locked straight all day and I'm allowed to walk 30-45 minutes a day at this point. The exercises are all straightforward, basically leg lifts and knee bends. The leg lifts aren't so bad, the knee bends, well those are a different story. It's amazing how quickly muscle atrophies. Naturally there is an amount of pain from within the knee but mostly I feel it in the muscles of my upper leg. It's almost like I'm too weak to actually bend my leg. I've set my brace so that when I'm up and about I can bend my knee to up to 60* of rotation, which is what I am allowed to do. When I'm laying down I lock the leg straight, still a good deal of pain if I bend it, but I'll be working to lock the leg less and less. I have a follow-up with physical therapy Friday and I'm hoping to be on schedule with my recovery by that time. I got a late start but I'm feeling a lot better than I did last week so I'm hoping I can catch up the time.

Not much more than that to update, I'll likely post again after my appointment on Friday.

It's Monday?

I really hate coming up with titles for blog entries. I don't have that much to update but I am bored and I did go to rehab today so I should at least post how that went.

Today's visit wasn't so much to start working on the knee as it was us getting to know each other and setting some goals for the recovery. Being that this wasn't a simple debridement -- look who learned how to spell -- the recovery is a bit different than I initially thought. I'm going to be stuck in a brace (we'll get pictures online soon) for at least 9 weeks while I begin to work the knee. They're not anticipating a full recovery for 6 months. Most of what I'm going to be doing is ROM (range of motion) exercises and leg strengthening. I have a sheet that details what I can and can't do right now and what exercises I should be doing now but I can't remember most of it. It's amazing how much of a cloud the Percoset puts my head in. I only need to take 3 or 4 doses a day depending on how much I'm up and about. Also they took off the wrap that was closest to my skin so the brace I've got with ice water pumping through it is far more effective.

In any event, I'm doing well and they say I should do just fine. I have a follow-up with Ortho on the 25th and another appointment with rehab on the 28th. I'll have Diana snap some photos of the braces and stitches and the setup I've got for myself in the recliner so ya'll know how I've been doing. My head is in a bit of a fog and I'm having trouble sorting my thoughts so I'm going to wrap up. I'm off for 30 days, so 25 more I think, if you wanna chat give me a call or look me up on AOL's instant messenger as jcpahman77 if you're the chatting type. I'll be here and I'd love to talk.

I'm home from surgery!!!

I really should have posted more about this earlier, like Tuesday when I had my pre-surgical consults but I forgot.

A little background for those not in the know... I injured my knee while in Iraq back in September of '08. They didn't know what the extent of the injury was then because medical facilities in Iraq are pretty much limited to life saving equipment. I had been complaining about knee pain after long convoys; in fact it was so bad that after a long convoy I couldn't bend my knees. Each time I went I was told that it was overuse and that I needed to "take it easy". Finally one day in September I was sitting on the side of a trailer with my feet on the tires. The tires on these trailers stick out several feet wider than the deck and pretty much run the length of the deck. Anyway, I went to stand up and turn at the same time to get up on the deck and just as I put weight on my right knee it snapped or popped. The kind of sound and feeling you get when you crack a knuckle for example. The leg gave out and I ended up on my butt on the deck. I couldn't fully extend my knee and I couldn't bend it past about 20 or 30 degrees. I was put on crutches for about a week and they tried to drain my knee once, but other than that not much was done while I was in Iraq.

It took a long time to get taken seriously once in the states but around May I was diagnosed with a pair of meniscal tears in my right knee. There are two meniscuses in your knee and they act like bushings between the upper bone of the leg and the lower two. An MRI showed that both my medial and lateral (inner and outer) meniscus had torn but didn't give enough resolution to see exactly how bad. The meniscus grow out of the tops of the lower bones and because they rely on the bones for blood flow they grow slowly. The plan was to go in orthoscopically de-breed the bad cartilage and then sew the ends of the good cartilage together to make the meniscuses whole again. Unfortunately when they got in there they discovered that one of the meniscuses was torn so badly that it had flapped forward into the middle of the joint. Naturally I don't remember any of this because of all the IV drugs they gave me but they told me and Diana that everything went smoothly. All I know is when I woke up it felt like someone had taken a sledge hammer to my knee and it took 6 mg's of Morphine to dull the pain.

Looking forward I have a fairly long recovery since it was not just a simple procedure like they had hoped. It's going to be three days before I can take off a brace they wrapped around my right knee and both legs have special stockings on them to help blood flow while the IV drugs work out of my system. I start physical therapy/rehab on Monday but they don't project that I'll even be able to drive a car for 6 to 8 weeks.

Appointments

I think I mentioned having an orthopedic and optometry appointment coming up in my last entry. Those dates have come and gone and there is some info that is newsworthy. My orthopedic appointment was supposed to be on the 30th, but I ended up being scheduled for a mission, so it was moved to the 6th, and now as it turns out I have funeral detail on the 6th (three funerals to do) so it's been moved again to the 20th. So sometimes no news is good news, but unfortunately I still have to wait to find any sort of prognosis for my knee.

I did have my optometry appointment on the 31st and it went well. They did about every test I've ever seen before on my eyes, very thorough. They have to measure the lens and eye shape and a few other things. Additionally you have to have an exam that's a year old to compare with a current one. I just happened to go to optometry in Iraq on the first of April so it was perfect. He then gave me a full eye exam on the 31st to compare. This doctor was good. He not only understood the troubles of a lazy eye he was impressed with the control I have over mine. I guess most people who suffer from a lazy eye have no control over when or how much that eye will drift. As some of you have seen I can move my left eye pretty much independently of my right eye. Also he said the extent to which my eye drifts in is pretty severe which added to how hard it is for me to control it. He spent about an hour on my eyes, different combinations of lenses, eye drops, filters, everything, and we came up with a solution I'm excited about. He's adding a good deal of prism to my lenses. The prism moves the image that my left eye sees to align it with my right eye, so both eyes are working together. I'm also getting two pairs of glasses; the army only allows one frame to be "wearer's choice" i.e. normal looking glasses, and the other set has to be the standard ugly Army issue frames. What's noteworthy about the two sets is I'm going to get the set of frames that looks normal in a mono-focal and the ugly Army issue frames in the bi-focal. I've often found that when I'm driving, for example, that if I need to look down to check a gauge, like my speed, that I have to move my whole head to avoid trying to see through my bi-focal lens. So I'm going to get the mono-focal set tinted ($10 at the PX) and use it for any time when I'm allowed to wear sunglasses. Formations and other formal times I'll have to wear the ugly frames since they won't be tinted but I'm going to look into having the lenses cut at the optical shop in the PX as well to see if they'll fit in my old frames.

No as far as the PRK (lasik), all the tests have been completed but they have to be submitted to the optical clinic at Ft. Hood for review since that is where the procedure is performed. Even if they approve me based on what they see from these tests there are a few more tests that can only be done at Ft. Hood, so even if I get sent to Ft. Hood I still may be denied the procedure. If that happens it really won't bother me, I've been wearing glasses since something like Kindergarten and as you can imagine I've gotten used to them.

I'll try to keep this blog updated more often now that I'm home. Work has kept me busy during the weekdays but I usually have weekends pretty free.

Knee injury update, Mom and Mr. Jones Visit

I finally have had my MRI reviewed. They verified I do have a torn meniscus, how long ago did I know this? In any event I now have an appt. with Orthopedics on the 30th to see what they are going to do. From what I understand there isn't a lot that can be done, but hopefully they know more than me. On the 31st I'm also having my eyes checked. If the lenses of my eyes are thick enough, and my eyes are bad enough, they will send me to Ft. Hood for PYK (lasik) surgery, all on the Army of course. I know my eyes are bad enough, I've been told before, but I've never had the lenses measured so I'm anxious to see what the results will be. 

Also Grandma and Grandpa Jones came down Tuesday for a visit. We went to Alamogordo yesterday to see the Toy Train Museum, a small Zoo that was excellent, and White Sands. I've never been to any of these places and it was a great trip. I've got about 400 photos to go through that are basically just yesterday and today (we went bowling today). We've been having fun all together and tomorrow is their last day here because they are moving on very early Monday morning. It will be very bittersweet because as much as we don't want to see them go Monday will be good for me since I'm still off work on my four day and the kids will be back in school.

I'm going to try to add some photos, just a few because I have such trouble with it, but hopefully they'll show up well.

The new car

I took home my new car last night. It's been a drama filled event that I'm sure is not over yet. It was for sale at a mechanic shop who was selling it for the owner. I put $100 to hold it and then came back with $900 more when our tax return came in. They didn't bite and I told them I'd get the other $300 (still a good deal for this car). What started to upset me was the fact that they couldn't get a hold of the owner to get the title. In fact I still think they charged more than the owner was asking, I'm meeting with the owner later today to get the title and straighten out any pricing issues. Yesterday they wrote me a bill of sale and I took the car home. The rules have changed on post so all I need to bring a vehicle on is my ID. Today I'm going to take it to the craft shop on post (garage) and take a good look at the car all the way around.

I have some pictures that I took last night and a couple I took this morning so I'll post those up and update things as the day goes along.

I'm painfully behind on this

It is now 5 Nov 2008 and I'm watching NCIS, all FIVE seasons, while waiting for my time in this country to expire.

What is most notable about November, well two things OK three actually, is that the First marked my two year in service mark. That's right I have been a Private in the US Army for two years. Which brings me to point 2. Two years active duty in the service, barring any misconduct, means an automatic promotion to E4 Specialist. Yes that means after MONTHS of working, straining, begging to be promoted, the Army just gave it to me. I forgot part of point one, looking back in retrospect, the two year in service mark comes with a tenure raise. That promotion to E4 also comes with a raise. The third point is that it's November, which I have said twice now, but that also means that I'll be coming home. Soon in fact. Avid followers of this blog know I cannot discuss confidential information on a public forum or unsecured channel. Suffice it to say there is not long now.

I really wish I could say more. I'm practically oozing with emotion, but nothing I want to say can be said. Those of you in Michigan can look forward to seeing the whole fam in mid-late December.

Also I'm pretty sure now that I will be going officer. I've done some more research and it seems like I pretty much qualify without anything more than I already have. Have to double check on needing a security clearance yet, but I'm working that angle too. In any event that put me in the Army for at least two more years to get a degree and that's just the time it'll take to get my commission. There is no minimum commitment time once I get a commission but with the amount of pay I'll be getting I may just stick this military thing out. A military retirement is highly desirable. Retire after 20 years and the medical benefits continue for life, for you and your spouse, and you get 50% of your base pay for life. Stick it out for 30 years and the compensation ups to 100%. Officer pay with that much time in service? I'd not only never have to work again I'd likely never need to. Once I get my commission my starting pay will $3215.10. add in housing pay, benefits, substance allowance, it really starts to add up.

That's all future though. My focus at the moment is getting out of this country. Right after I watch a few more days worth of NCIS. It seems most of you have found me on Facebook but if you would actually like  a live chat look me up on AOL's Instant Messenger, www.aim.com and look up jcpahman77. If I'm awake and the internet is working out here, I'm on.

Until we meet again in person, this is SPECIALIST Pahman, signing off...

SPC Pahman, Jesse C.

United States Army

Camp Liberty, Iraq

Not much longer now.

It really stinks not being able to say more about when I may be coming home. At this point I still don't have an actual date and it's not far out. We won't know when we'll be in the states until we make it to Kuwait, just too many variables and concerns for safety and security until then. I absolutely cannot wait to see many of you again. Until then I honestly feel that I have been blessed to be able to keep in touch as well as we have. This is a very long distance to be away for so long, anything helps.

Until I'm home I want to thank all of you for your continued prayers. I know it's God's grace that has kept me as safe as I have been. There have been some times when I can recall being scared but I don't feel I was ever in any real danger; I could be wrong I guess, I just didn't know if I was.

For now I'll wrap up 'till I can think of more to say.

As Always:

PFC. Pahman, Jesse C.

United States Army

Camp Liberty, Iraq

Facebook

If I had known that so much of my family was on Facebook I would have joined long ago. I don't have much in the way of news, just the day in day out business everyone goes through. OK so day in day out business in Iraq is a bit different than it is other places, but after 13 months here that is what it feels like to me.
For the family I haven't had a chance to share with since I've been deployed, or in the service for that matter, let me tell you a little about what my life is like. My job title in the Army is 88M, we say 88 Mike, in English it means truck driver. I drive the Army's Heavy Equipment Transporter. The truck's main objective is to be able to transport the M1A1 Abrams main battle tank and it's crew. This makes it a very large truck. The photo above, or wherever blogger put it, is one of my favorite shots of the truck, the only thing it fails to do is show the scale of the vehicle. The tractor tires are over 50 inches tall and the bottom of the doors is almost 6 feet in the air. I could talk about the truck all day, it's why I picked 88M as my job, I love to drive, but enough about that for now.

The living conditions aren't bad here at all, depending on which FOB you get to call home. I've been on 3 so far this tour. Most people live in what we call CHU's, or Container Housing Units. There are three rooms per container and 2 people per room so my space ends up being about 6x12', I haven't actually measured. In that space they provide a bed, a wall locker, a small end table and a reading lamp. There is usually reasonably good A/C and if you have a TV you can connect to AFN, the American Forces Network, at no cost and get 11 channels to keep up on current events. Also depending on the FOB, and this one is among the best, there is wireless internet in the rooms for the paltry sum of $65/mo. which unfortunately struggles to rival the speed of a good dial-up modem. On top of what is in the room already we have the chore of fitting our military gear and any other amenities we might want to make the tour more pleasant. For my part I have my laptop, a TV, DVD Player and a small surround sound setup, I love my movies. As we are so close to the end of our tour now most of my gear has been packed into tough boxes to get ready to be shipped home.

I carry an M16A2 with an attached M203 40mm grenade launcher. I've been fortunate enough not to need it yet. As for what I actually do, I can only give so many details, MUCH of what I have seen, carried, and where I have been is classified, or at least that is what they tell me. During the hot months, and hot doesn't really do it justice, but during the hot months we work nights. My current schedule has me going to the gym at midnight for PT and then work call in the motorpool at 0230 in the morning. Most of the time in the motorpool is spent trying to keep the trucks running. The problem with a tractor trailer system that weighs 45 tons empty is it has a tendancy to fall apart. Once you factor in that it can haul another 70 tons it really becomes obvious how much work these trucks need. When I'm not in the motorpool I'm mostly left alone. Missions take me outside the wire, a term used to indicate when we've left the FOB and entered into an unsecured area. I've been on so many at this point that I have lost track. This is the part of the job I cannot talk about, suffice it to say that almost anything can and does happen outside but that I have been safe throughout the tour and to date my unit has not lost anybody.

I'll be home to the states by Thanksgiving and our little family is hoping to make the trek to Michigan to visit in late December. The Army likes to do things to change perfectly good plans for no reason at all, but that is the plan for now.

Until then take care and God Bless.

PFC. Pahman, Jesse C.

United States Army

Camp Liberty, Iraq

link to new blog

http://web.me.com/jcpahman77 Much easier for me to manage my blog this way. If you like it, get a mac and get a .mac account lol.

Back in VBC!!! Woot

I'm back in VBC, land of good internet. I'm working on a new site for the blog, it's one where I can make the posts on my laptop and then upload them when they are ready so I don't have to rely on the internet just to write a post. I actually started making entries when I first heard we'd be going to VBC so there are a few entries there to get caught up with. Comments can be left as well so it should work much like this one does. I'm back with 3rd Platoon and SFC. Kinninschkze who I haven't seen since I left TQ. I'm looking forward to finishing out the tour with some old friends, both from my old platoon and from 57th TC who I got to know when I was here the first time. I'll post the link to the new blog once it uploads and I'm sure exactly what the link is.

Stay tuned.

an exercise in patience

Trying to get this page to open on my laptop has been quite an exercise, but a blog post is needed.

I've responded to everyone's comment on the last post so I won't go over that material twice. They are still working on the internet out here. Anyone with enough motivation could stand to make some money if they could figure out how to make this work, look-up USComz. Anyway, since the last posting I've been staying busy and safe as usual, but now I get to add injured to the list. It didn't happen on a mission or anything, it's just age catching up to me. I've always had bad knees and it seems that they are getting worse. I was working on a trailer this past Saturday and just went to stand up to lend a hand. I was standing and turning at the same time and when I put weight on my right knee it popped and it seems I have a partially torn meniscus now. For those not familiar it is a tendon in the knee and apparently is fairly painful when pulled. There is nothing that can be done for it out here because it requires surgery to fix. Normally this is the kind of injury that would get a person sent home but our company is short handed and can't afford to loose anyone else at this point, even an injured person can do some work.

Yesterday I went in for a follow-up and they tried to drain the fluid off of the knee cap. I say tried because in order for it to be successful the patient needs to remain motionless. I did not. I've never had a needle that large in my knee before and it was a very unpleasant sensation. I'm on an anti-inflammatory and a fairly large pain killer to help deal with it but I won't be able to get it fixed until we return to the states. They also gave me a cortisone shot which didn't hurt nearly as bad as when they tried to drain it, and that seems to be helping a great deal. I can walk on the leg, but not well. I was on crutches for a few days but they say it will heal better if I try to walk on it as much as I can. For now I'm off of the road while it heels. I'm working in the base tire shop which is run by our company.

I'm not the only one with knee injuries right now so I've been getting some good advice on how to handle it and I'm confident that I'll be able to make a full recovery once I am home in El Paso, in the meantime I have to live with it. Luckily we are nearing the end of our tour, the countdown has begun. With any luck I'll pickup my E4, specialist rank, in October and that will feel good. I was close to getting it for September but I didn't have much time to study.

I'm working days for now, so as with the last entry that means I need to wrap this up so I can get some sleep. I'm trying to check my e-mail at jesse.c.pahman@us.army.mil as much as I can, but that site is also hard to load. I'll be home soon, and I look forward to sharing the experiences I've collected along this tour. I hope that you don't find I have changed too much, but I know that I have. Know that at some point I may snap for no good reason at all and that whoever or whatever it was I snapped at, it probably wasn't provoked. It happened once on R&R and I've seen a good deal more since then. I'm learning some Arabic as well and I will share what I know when we all get to meet again in person.

Until then, take care and know that despite how it may sound I am doing very well.

PFC. Pahman, Jesse C.
United States Army
Camp Taji, Iraq